Body Image Issues at Our House

Wow, it ends up that as kids get older the parenting gets harder.  HOW COME NO ONE TOLD ME THAT?  Geez society, you had me all freaked out about the baby years, ends up that those are the easy ones!  Newest issue at our house: body image.  And I am at a total loss for what to do (because I feel like I’ve tried everything you’re “supposed” to do).  In other words, I’m open to advice.

Avery has, for awhile now, become more aware of how her body looks compared to other kids, I suppose starting probably about a year ago during first grade but becoming more and more of an issue.  And now we’re at the point where it is almost a daily issue.  For example, last night she had her first ballet class, which she enjoyed (which was a sigh of relief) but afterwards she said to me, “mom, I have the fattest legs of all the girls in my class.”  And after a moment of grasping for words I said, “your legs are fine and they are strong and useful and it’s wonderful you’re dancing with them.”  Then she looked at me with this look, a very clear look of “I don’t believe a word you’re saying.”  And it was that look that gave me pause, because if she doesn’t believe me, who is she going to believe?

Here’s the thing, she is a stout girl, I don’t think (according to all the numbers) that she would fall into the range of being technically overweight, but she is probably at the upper end of the normal curve for body mass.  This is something I am acutely aware of as her health is my priority and really my job to watch out for.  And, like me, she loves food and loves to eat and if we let her would eat a lot of food!  We set quite a few limits around food and consciously try to keep her as active as possible, which is not as easy to do as it sounds when kids are in school so much of the day (and only have P.E. twice a week).  My point is that it would be lying to tell her that she is skinny, when she’s not, or that she’s wrong, when her version is just the negative interpretation of the facts based on cultural expectations.  

My current plan is to try to put a positive spin on it all, to continue to try to explain that her body will develop how it will develop, she and I don’t have any control over that, and that we will continue to eat healthy foods and do healthy activities to make her body strong.  I guess I just wish society would help, because I feel like I’m battling cultural norms with everything I’m saying to her about this and that in the end she is going to believe them over me.   In which case, what can I do?