My Bio

I’ve been procrastinating making my bio for our work website for the past couple of months.  I don’t know why, other than that all the things I wanted to say I knew wouldn’t be appropriate.  The real bio ended up being pretty standard material.  Here is what I wanted it to say:

Dr. Julie Gendler grew up in Kalispell, Montana.  She then spent a really really really long time going to school, longer than the average person even thinks a person can potentially go to school.  She completed her residency in Family Medicine in Boise, Idaho, not that the average person knows what a residency is either other than what they see on Grey’s Anatomy, but it was enough to get her a medical license and that is what counts in the end, right?  She then worked her ass off for 4 years practicing full spectrum family medicine, hardly ever sleeping, and having her soul sucked out of her body via a piece of electronic medical record software appropriately named Epic.  Despite meeting some really nice people and making some great friends in Wisconsin, the alternately freezing temperatures and unbearable humidity as well as the threat to life and limb by all matter of nature’s creations such as floods, mosquitos, tornados, and blizzards led her back to the more temperate climate of Idaho.  After a short stint as a full time mom she joined the faculty at FMRI to escape the incessant screaming of “Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!” that still haunts her to this day.  She enjoys teaching residents and has a focus in preventive care and women’s health.  She doesn’t enjoy being yelled at by patients or prescribing narcotics but it ends up that is part of the gig.  In her free time she enjoys…  Wait, hold it, she actually doesn’t have any free time, but in the hour of time that she carves out for herself on a daily basis she exercises frantically in hopes that she will either one day turn into an athlete again or shed the baby weight that clings to her body like the monkey on her fucking back.  Outside of work she enjoys spending time with her family, not that her 3 lovely children appreciate any of the sacrifices she has made to act as their personal assistant/chauffeur/chef/event coordinator.  When not wasting time on facebook she stares desperately into the mirror wondering where time has gone (duh, all that school!) and what is the meaning of life.  She gets through the mess of it all by telling herself that things will work out in the end and tomorrow is a new day and any other trite, convenient, positive Jack Handyish statement that comes to mind.